The Magnification of the Modern Menu

The house salad must be pretty special if it's not only organic, but it contains artisan lettuce..



Would you like some bisque, charcuterie, jus, or compote? Or perhaps something asian-inspired, hand-crafted, vine-ripened, with seasonal blends and citrus tones? These types of words are used widely on menus, and by waiters who are drawing on their part- time acting experience to enthusiastically read out the ‘specials’ menu. But how much of that five- minute intricate description of each special dish is the average human supposed to remember? When you make your order you could try to use the waiters' wording, but then you risk an embarrassing slip-up of the correct pronunciation of charcuterie! It’s getting harder to order a decent, yet simple meal when going out these days without feeling like you’re a Masterchef contestant!
 
Here's a few more particularly interesting words which have started popping up in cafes, restaurants, and even supermarkets over the past couple of years.

1.'Artisan': This term gets bandied about for all sorts of random things (not isolated to food items). When referred to in connection with food, 'artisan' means the item has been crafted often by traditional methods, using the hands, and in small quantities. So how could it apply to the lettuce in the above picture? ('organic house salad'). And, how about this quote The Age 'Sunday Life' magazine had in its 'Hated' column?:

"Designer bakeries: Eight dollars for an artisan (i.e. knobbly) loaf of bread? No thanks."
 
2) 'Rustic': This word of the moment isn't as prevalent as the others. But it’s worth a mention, particularly if it is combined with another buzz-word. There's a bread-stick I’ve seen at the supermarket, interestingly named a 'rustic batard'. Yes, I know that a batard is a French bread, similar to a baguette. But it’s rustic as well? I feel a bit sorry for it! Rustic actually means that it is simple, unsophisticated or artless. Which is great, but not for a product that is churned out in factories day in and day out no differently to any other mass-market product.

3) By definition 'organic' refers to something natural, from plant or animal origin (in other words not man-made). Ironically, 'basic' is also a word that popped up in a dictionary search. But, as we know, many food products being marketed as 'organic' are actually quite the opposite! The use of the word has finally come to the attention of regulators.

Don't get me wrong, I like descriptive words, and good food, but I'm a bit skeptical about verbal marketing hype.