The Great T-shirt Travesty

Believe it or not, but there are some people who love wearing t-shirts with huge brands emblazoned on them. Although they maybe on the decline, because big sportswear and fashion labels seem to be toning down their overt street-wear branding, as more consumers refuse to be lured into the trap of appearing like a walking billboard. Interestingly though, some well-known Australian discount retailers are ignoring this trend.

They are embracing the pseudo-authentic sport team creation:

What does the 82 mean exactly?

There is something a little offensive and disturbing about a t-shirt plastered with a random American sporting club’s name and history. Research tells me that this is actually a baseball team. I’m not sure about the 82 number though. Is that supposed to be when they were established? It doesn’t matter, because it’s clearly a cheap imitation (i.e. the strategically placed ‘Athletic Industries Inc’ at the bottom). Is this supposed to be appealing because it has an American town, a sport, and some letters and numbers thrown in?

 

'Official Champions'..how cool.

This one is a little different. It's so generic that it doesn't even mention a sport. Instead we have a fictional city, presumably also American. 'Champions' sounds pretty cool, so maybe there is a sport reference attached. And what's with the letter and number sequence thrown in. What does it mean? Are there people who really believe it may actually mean something, and why would anyone seriously want to wear these mundane creations?

There's also the pseudo-authentic denim/streetwear brand creation:

'Indian Chief', 'Indigo Denim'..enough!

These cheaply made t-shirts (also available in jacket form, as above) are often riddled with phrases like ‘Authentic’ or ‘Established in 1945.’ They are not real brands, yet the shirt's manufacturers, and the discount retailers which stock them, try so hard to make the consumer think they are. Give up I say. Give me a plain t-shirt any day.

Finally, what's with the select group of country names that streetwear manufacturers choose to adorn their clothing with?

What makes Brazil t-shirt worthy?

Brazil, USA, Venezuela, France, Italy... What about New Zealand, Romania or The Philippines, (to name a few)? Aren't they cool enough for non-tourist merchandise? You never see guys walking down the street wearing a 'Taiwan' t-shirt, although chances are it was probably made there.

The Magnification of the Modern Menu

The house salad must be pretty special if it's not only organic, but it contains artisan lettuce..



Would you like some bisque, charcuterie, jus, or compote? Or perhaps something asian-inspired, hand-crafted, vine-ripened, with seasonal blends and citrus tones? These types of words are used widely on menus, and by waiters who are drawing on their part- time acting experience to enthusiastically read out the ‘specials’ menu. But how much of that five- minute intricate description of each special dish is the average human supposed to remember? When you make your order you could try to use the waiters' wording, but then you risk an embarrassing slip-up of the correct pronunciation of charcuterie! It’s getting harder to order a decent, yet simple meal when going out these days without feeling like you’re a Masterchef contestant!
 
Here's a few more particularly interesting words which have started popping up in cafes, restaurants, and even supermarkets over the past couple of years.

1.'Artisan': This term gets bandied about for all sorts of random things (not isolated to food items). When referred to in connection with food, 'artisan' means the item has been crafted often by traditional methods, using the hands, and in small quantities. So how could it apply to the lettuce in the above picture? ('organic house salad'). And, how about this quote The Age 'Sunday Life' magazine had in its 'Hated' column?:

"Designer bakeries: Eight dollars for an artisan (i.e. knobbly) loaf of bread? No thanks."
 
2) 'Rustic': This word of the moment isn't as prevalent as the others. But it’s worth a mention, particularly if it is combined with another buzz-word. There's a bread-stick I’ve seen at the supermarket, interestingly named a 'rustic batard'. Yes, I know that a batard is a French bread, similar to a baguette. But it’s rustic as well? I feel a bit sorry for it! Rustic actually means that it is simple, unsophisticated or artless. Which is great, but not for a product that is churned out in factories day in and day out no differently to any other mass-market product.

3) By definition 'organic' refers to something natural, from plant or animal origin (in other words not man-made). Ironically, 'basic' is also a word that popped up in a dictionary search. But, as we know, many food products being marketed as 'organic' are actually quite the opposite! The use of the word has finally come to the attention of regulators.

Don't get me wrong, I like descriptive words, and good food, but I'm a bit skeptical about verbal marketing hype.

The Barista as Brand Ambassador

I never thought it would come to this. But, like many consumers these days, I am addicted to coffee. It's embarrassing to admit but not even one day goes by without me having at least one. And, as my coffee dependence grows, I've become increasingly friendly with an array of baristas around town. Unfortunately though, sometimes the friendship does not last. And it's not only their coffee making ability which gets in the way. Sometimes their attitude and poor service has me taking my coffee dollars elsewhere.

I've realised that baristas are not only responsible for ensuring that their freshly roasted blends awaken our senses and our minds (and get us to where we need to be in an alert and functional state). They also play a secondary, but still big, role as a company and brand ambassador.

I'm not a coffee guru per se. I know what I like, but I don't insist on organic, South American or other form of exquisite coffee beans. Actually, I'm most satisfied when I get what I ask for (skinny latte), and some form of appreciation from the barista or cafe worker for my patronage. Let's face it, with an over-supply of providers, I have an array of coffee sellers who can provide my crucial morning caffeine hit.

I'm not asking for much. A smile, thank you, conversation or just speedy, efficient service will go a long way. In fact, the quality of the coffee is often the least of my worries if the above criteria aren't met. Somewhere out there I know there are barista superstars. How often do you hear about people who go on dates with, or become best friends with, their baristas?! But for some reason, many of my baristas barely even crack a smile.

 So my question is: How many baristas are really qualified or ready to embrace their secondary role of company and brand ambassador when you arrive for your usual order each morning? Especially if you're a new customer. As far as I'm concerned, with so many operators on the scene, they really need to be. And, to the one barista who made the worst mistake by spelling my name wrong on the cup, it's really not that hard! And, it was nice knowing you. Next.